Today I stood facing our home and looked embarrassingly at the weeds that took over the front beds.
It looked as someone overwhelmed with life lives here.
And that is true.
But I’m not ready to give in with being overwhelmed.
I don’t want to hide behind those massive clumps of grass that grow so firmly enmeshed in the roses.
In a drizzle bit of rain I started pulling weeds. I did this until my hair was plastered to my head trying to swing about in sweaty clumps. It turned into such a release of aggression for me, pulling those weeds. I’m sure those driving by would say I looked like an angry weeder.
I’m not an angry person. I can yell about dishes left out and a messy bathroom, but I don’t yell about my feelings.
I don’t yell when I get lonely, even though my house is always full of kids.
I don’t yell about looking at my baby and noticing he has Ken’s big toe. Because I want to show him.
Everyday I do laundry, cook meals and nurse the baby. Some days I do this with a smile and some days I do this while feeling like I can’t. And lately those can’t days are too many.
Those comments you left on my last post are so dear and sweet to me. They were so needed! Thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart!