one time on Oprah…

Shortly after I had my first baby I was watching Oprah-- a new mother asked a parenting expert when her life would return to a normal routine.  The audience erupted with laughter and Oprah said in about 18 years, honey…

I’ve carried that moment with me around with all my new babies.  I felt so bad for that woman! Life does return to “normal”.  Her baby should be over 20 years old now—hopefully she figured it out.

I allow myself a year after having a baby to not even think about a normal routine.  Just when one routine gets comfortable a new one begins.  Every baby is different, every mother is different. And I myself am a pretty wacky one.

After I had a few kids I learned not to start projects like sewing.  I try and wait a year.  I want to focus on my baby, on getting back in shape. Otherwise I get so frustrated on why can’t I get anything done.

Do I sound like a know it all?  This is more like a pep talk for myself really.

I like to think I’m the type of person that needs a clean house and complete organization.  I can’t work on something for 10 minutes at a time.  I need to sit and finish it, or I won’t do it.  When I let myself slide emotionally and physically I let everything slide. (Which by the way, how come right after my 40th birthday I realize my rear is sliding into my legs? But that’s another post.)

Having said all that I really miss making stuff.  Sawyer is almost 6 months old.  He’s really wiggly and wakes up like 4 times a night (seriously- I’ve tried everything) but he smiles nonstop—even at 2:00 in the morning. He is so yummy right now!  I think it all evens out.  I know my day to make stuff will be here soon enough. I will be patient! My baby will be a big kid with smelly feet before I know it.

I floated around my sitting room today taking pictures of crafty stuff that inspires me, it’ll do for now!

The wind blows east and west

The house is as decorated as it will get for Halloween.  I bought one bag of candy corn and it quickly was ingested.  One bag is all these little ghosts and goblins will get.  Even before they know I have bought any their bodies know there is something full of sugar and food coloring in the house. 

Since Sept we have partied up three birthdays.  I turned 40! Hadley turned 20! Maggie turned 18!

We had a VIP guest on the table, even though it was the middle of the night where he is.  Sigh. I just love that guy.

We are halfway through this time apart.  Time is a funny thing, some parts have seemed to go by fast while others drag on.  Nonetheless I can’t handle any more deployments.  I cringe when I add up the time he has been away through the years.   In case you are wondering if someone can be deployed too much, the answer is yes…someone can.  I feel like I have put my best foot forward through the first four, but now, these last 2-3?  It’s too many.  It’s hard.  Life is too precious.  Even when he is home it hangs like a dark cloud, always nearby. 

Oye…anyway…staying positive!

This book opened my eyes to much more than my love for McCloskey and his art.

It was written by his daughter Jane and her perspective on her childhood was so very interesting to me.

The pictures I have hanging in my home from his books have a whole new meaning to me.

I love when books let you peer into someone’s life.  When you finish the book and reflect on the sense of their life (or nonsense haha) it helps you put your own life into perspective. 

My thoughts after I finished this book were:

My happiness is really up to me

I want to keep a sense of adventure my whole life

Sometimes what defines people is not what they wish to have define them

Seeing isn’t just with your eyes…it is a learned process.  I need to work on that one.

Howz that for a book report?

A++++++++

 

 

Fall art on the porch

The days we are able to spend on the screen porch doing artwork are lessening.  We love doing fall art on the porch. If saying “fall art” is too much for you, it could be contracted to f’art.  Can you tell what kind of mood I am in?  The kind of mood where you really don’t feel like making dinner even though you know you have to,  but really you just want to sit in your comfiest chair and stitch embroidery for hours.

Anyhow we have been trying to do some kind of art each weekend. My project ideas were few until I stumbled across an art teachers blog that led me to another and soon enough there were a zillion ideas and my brain was full.

This is the one we did last weekend, a little mixed media appropriate for fall.

We ripped up pages from an old book and after gluing we washed them over with a watered down brown acrylic.

The idea came from a blog called that artist woman.  My daughter (age 9) really loved doing this project, it might have been a little too much for my five year old.  He loves to draw and paint but when you add in the other stuff he kind of starts bouncing around.  At first you don’t realize that he is bouncing around and then all of a sudden you know your patience is thin and you hear his voice echoing the same chant over and over while he is swinging a too long stick like an orchestra conductor too close to your face.

He’s a wild and crazy guy.

When I envision him when he’s older I can’t help picturing him with a big beer belly doing cannonballs into the pool.  But don’t tell anyone I said that.

 

Do all kids dream of growing carrots?

 

Through my 20 years of parenting I think each of my kids has at one time or another wanted to grow carrots.  This was the first time we had a little success.  And I think pulling the carrots up out of the ground was as great as Molly had hoped it would be.

Last February I read way too much about growing carrots and couldn’t stop talking about them. I wanted to grow a huge variety and keep them through the winter.  But alas my belly grew huge with a baby and then the baby was born and then my life went spinning around and around like the revolving door at a fancy hotel.  But it’s all good.  The baby is growing and at the same time my life is starting to become a familiar routine again.

la la la la laaaaaaa

 

I realize now being busy was a good thing for my kids as they had their own freedom with the garden.  Sometimes that is the best way to learn stuff without your mother telling you how to do things.  I suppose it’s a happy medium, with raising kids in general.  My kids tend to be a bit on the shy side (me too) and it sometimes takes a little push to get them on their path.  It’s so satisfying to watch them do something on their own, it makes them proud…and me proud, too.

Their bounty is good and we have been enjoying their harvest each night.

Now that the garden is just about through I am anxious to let the hens in there. When I say anxious I mean way more excited than I should be. The hens will be thrilled and probably spend all their time at the first plant they see instead of realizing there is a goldmine of great stuff to be found. But they’ll figure it out… kind of like my kids!

dew drop Sunday morning

This morning is the first I find myself in long sleeves.

Each morning as I stumble up the hill to let the chickens out the grass is heavier with dew than it was the previous morning.   I love the subtle changes that are happening each day.  The air feels fresh, the trees seem too tired to hold on to their shiny green leaves. 

The sunflowers are heavy and droopy after  astonishing us with their height. All that from a tiny little seed?

Maybe the up and coming winter will be long and gray, I’ll worry about that later.

For now there is too much work to do…just ask the chipmunks!

Happy Sunday to you!

lately

The weather lately has been beautiful.  The sky by midday reaches a blue that looks like it came straight from a Charles Wysocki puzzle. Then just as you think it would be nice if it rained so you don’t have to water the garden, it does.  Just enough, then the sun and blue reappear. 

I remember writing a post a year ago and telling you I was glad it was September. 

I’m glad again.

But really I can’t believe it’s been a year since  I typed those words.

I fell in love with zinnias this year.  I’ve always been a red-geranium-in-terra-cotta kind of girl.  But the zinnias offer so much with so little effort.

Can I help it if I like things with little effort?

Lately that doesn’t equate to many things.  Though the two oldest are away at school, it leaves me feeling like an empty nester with four at home. The first day of school was a unique one with phone calls from a homesick daughter and having an emotional first day kindergartener.  But now everything has lost its sharp edges and everyone seems to have reached that it’s not so bad level.  Even me.  I miss my boy Henry, but he’s happy in his little school and that makes me happy, too. The two hours he is gone is usually the baby’s nap time and the house is so quiet I can’t even believe it.

These September days will certainly go by fast.  I will try and appreciate all they have to offer…blooming flowers, the soft light of the sun, the burst of harvest the garden is giving.  It’s all good!

 

 

 

 

weeding thoughts

Today I stood facing our home and looked embarrassingly at the weeds that took over the front beds. 

It looked as someone overwhelmed with life lives here.

And that is true.

But I’m not ready to give in with being overwhelmed.

I don’t want to hide behind those massive clumps of grass that grow so firmly enmeshed in the roses.

In a drizzle bit of rain I started pulling weeds.  I did this until my hair was plastered to my head trying to swing about in sweaty clumps.  It turned into such a release of aggression for me, pulling those weeds.  I’m sure those driving by would say I looked like an angry weeder.

I’m not an angry person.  I can yell about dishes left out and a messy bathroom, but I don’t yell about my feelings.

I don’t yell when I get lonely, even though my house is always full of kids.

I don’t yell about looking at my baby and noticing he has Ken’s big toe.  Because I want to show him.

Everyday I do laundry, cook meals and nurse the baby.  Some days I do this with a smile and some days I do this while feeling like I can’t.  And lately those can’t days are too many.

Those comments you left on my last post are so dear and sweet to me.  They were so needed!  Thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart!