Sunday, April 5, 2020

the days

It seems like another lifetime when I would walk outside and look at the flower gardens.  I am anticipating doing that so very much.  The whole world has gone askew.  It doesn't feel level and because of that even a short walk takes so much energy. My prayers have been so emotional and full lately.  It is my one true pray.  I can be in any room of the house, wearing any half pajama type outfit, doing any menial task and I feel overcome to pray.  I used to feel guilty to heartily pray in my hour of need, why didn't I pray that way when my life was chugging along just fine? I've tried to be better at that- hearty prayers of gratitude because truly I am grateful for so much, much more than I am distraught about.  That saying about how it's the simple things in life really resonates now.  I hope I don't take for granted the noise my daughter's car makes when she drives in the yard and I hear the side door bang shut and my little granddaughter squeal with excitement as she comes in the mudroom waiting for her gaggle of aunts and uncles to welcome her.  
We all have so much emotional weight to carry lately.  Everything about our routines has been affected.  It's hard to imagine life returning to how it was.  I hope we all come out of it more appreciative.  The lessons I learned growing up with my grandparents (who would be over 100 years old now) make so much more sense.  They did things because they made sense, to be efficient, to be wise, because of the appreciation they learned along the way.  It became inherent to not waste, but as time went on and generations replaced theirs we became entitled.  It became too easy to complain about nonsense. These are my feelings and I recognize not everyone feels this way. 
Change is hard.  Fear is even harder.  But in the end nothing feels impossible, we can climb this mountain.  Optimism has a pilot light that is willing to grow into a flame to light our way if we let it.

Friday, November 22, 2019

all mine

We had a rare day when all the kids were home.  We sat around our ever growing dining table and celebrated a couple birthdays.  It was fulfilling in the most ordinary way. Though too much time passes between each get together I love how the kids just pick up right where they left off during their adolescent years.  It makes my heart warm to hear their laughter and snide comments.  They recount stories that I never knew happened under my watch.  Where was I?  Maybe folding 5 loads of laundry????  While the older kids have achieved celebrity status with their younger siblings, it is interesting to watch the younger ones interact with their adult siblings.  What they choose to share with them will always be a fascination to me.
We decided to attempt a picture with everyone, husbands and kids and the grandbaby.  Then a few with all six kids together.  It is nice for the younger ones to see themselves in the line up, kind of like where they stand in this family.  Of course the pictures didn't really come out.  It's hard with so many people, it is never possible to have everyone not blink at the same time the camera clicks.  In this case these quick pictures I took as they were trying to line up are just as wonderful to me as if they were all standing perfect.  I love their love for each other.  I love their craziness, their jokes, their happiness, their fierce determination.  My cup overflows.

Monday, September 23, 2019

of sunrises

When I began writing this blog all those years ago I was reckless with my thoughts and couldn't seem to focus on what to share.  I feared sharing too much and yet it felt empty to share too little.  I never really did settle on a theme or even a direction and just hit "publish" when I had the time to write or share anything.  I'm grateful I did that as those were some busy years for me and to scroll back and read through those days makes me appreciate them, most of those regular days I fear I wouldn't have retained all those bits and pieces about.  Since the first post I have shared so much growing....both the physical growth of my children and the growth of me as a person.  The latter was unintentional, but to see my family and myself through the eyes of who might be reading my words helped me to stop being so self deprecating.  To read your comments on days when I needed a boost was so rewarding.  Thank you for that, wherever you are.  All those years ago there were five children, now there are six.  They were all shorter than me, now only one is.  Two are married.  And now the sweetest of sweet things: a grandchild.  A darling little girl that sends me to the moon with love. 

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

 We went on a trip this summer to watch our daughter get married in France.  It was so lovely and my heart is full of happy wedding memories.  It has been a while since we have been to Europe and though I was very excited to return I felt more nervous to travel than I ever have.  There wasn't a reason in particular just overall jitters at disrupting my daily routines at home that my mind conveniently mistakes routine for comfort.  Yes, I like routines but it is a very nice thing to step away from them for a time, and equally to return to them with vigor and appreciation. But why is it so hard to convince oneself of this before the trip?
We decided a trip to France could also include some traveling to places we wanted to bring our younger three kids to, as their older siblings have many memories of living overseas and these little guys have really only experienced New England. It was a lot of traveling and driving and walking and flying.  But there was so much to see!

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

There are so any favorite things to be listed!  A rainbow after a summer storm?  Yes. For sure!
Johnny-jump-ups that keep reseeding and staying in bloom...very much, please and thank you.
We have some renovating going on with our old home and the light is beginning to shine.  The mess is telling me "see, I told you it would be worth it."  And humbly I say thank you as I eternally shop-vac up the saw dust.
I hope your summer days are ticking along with happiness and an ice cream cone or two.

Monday, April 3, 2017

exponential capacity

Oh dear. Look at that boy holding his stuffed chicken while his dad holds a duck.  Another memory to store away in that special place in my heart.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

a tea time check in

I have been missing my blog lately.  So today I am here.  Everything is busy in life and my children are growing as much as ever.  I miss the timeline of looking back and reading those silly posts when I wrote about the simplest of days.  Can I squeeze my blog in my daily list of priorities?  I don't know but hopefully this can-do attitude will stick around and I will sneak in some posting time here and there.
It's been a long winter, but we have had no trouble filling these cold days up with our busy schedules. It's time to take a step back while we await the arrival of spring and readjust.  I like adjustments, they usually make everything even better than it was to begin with.
Just to make sure it is still winter at the shoreline we occasionally pop in and walk until the whipping wind hurries us away.

Snow at the ocean seems like such a travesty, doesn't it?  It is surely the thing that doesn't belong in that preschool game of What Doesn't Belong Here.
So with some positive thoughts I will be back to visit soon.  Cheers to you and yours!