Sunday, August 12, 2012

weeding thoughts

4a

Today I stood facing our home and looked embarrassingly at the weeds that took over the front beds. 

It looked as someone overwhelmed with life lives here.

And that is true.

But I’m not ready to give in with being overwhelmed.

3a

I don’t want to hide behind those massive clumps of grass that grow so firmly enmeshed in the roses.

In a drizzle bit of rain I started pulling weeds.  I did this until my hair was plastered to my head trying to swing about in sweaty clumps.  It turned into such a release of aggression for me, pulling those weeds.  I’m sure those driving by would say I looked like an angry weeder.

10a

I’m not an angry person.  I can yell about dishes left out and a messy bathroom, but I don’t yell about my feelings.

I don’t yell when I get lonely, even though my house is always full of kids.

I don’t yell about looking at my baby and noticing he has Ken’s big toe.  Because I want to show him.

11a

Everyday I do laundry, cook meals and nurse the baby.  Some days I do this with a smile and some days I do this while feeling like I can’t.  And lately those can’t days are too many.

Those comments you left on my last post are so dear and sweet to me.  They were so needed!  Thank you for that, from the bottom of my heart!

 

12 comments:

kate said...

I feel for you. I'm a mom too. Newborns are like no others. Both in a good way and a not so good way! Hugs from one mama to another!

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I know you have so much to do and it's harder with your hubby so far away. I hope you won't worry about the things that don't get done and just spend time with your kids. You're doing a great job....and I'm sending you a BUNCH of Southern HUGS...those real squeezy kind! Your buddy, Diane

Barbara said...

Honestly, I don't know how you do it - if you need to have a few grumpy days, you've earned them. You're just an amazing mother, and your love for your family shines through every post. (Even this one!) Hope you get five minutes of peace today and every day.

Leila said...

You are my hero.
My weeds get to me too :) Mostly it's just how life is -- the good and the grumpy. And a big event (or in my case, 2) with lots of hubbub, and suddenly the quiet... it gets to you! But remember, it's all good. All is grace!

Leslie said...

You are so strong. I have a little house, two kids ~ besides feeding and reminding them to do things ~ are no work at all, and my weeds are still overtaking my garden.
have a great new week

Leila said...

Oh, also? You are experiencing the despair that is August in New England after the rains. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds.

Juniper said...

With four little ones and the house feeling small, laundry overwhelming and summer so hot and long,I can relate to your post. Bit of summer blues here. I can only imagine my dear what life with six children and a husband away must be like. luckily seasons change and the love you are surrounded by will hold you up but do carve out some moments for yourself ( if possible). Maybe it's time to call in some siblings or parents to help lend a hand. Let them walk the babe while you weed or put your feet up and rest a little.

Dawn Castor said...

Leila's comment about August in New England after it rains--Remember when you lived in Texas and it NEVER rained! So weeds are a good thing I guess for two reasons--proof of rain and a good way to get rid of aggression and frustration. I can't imagine staying home while my husband was away for so long. I get cranky now when he is gone and I've got no one to care for! You are amazing!

Dawn Castor said...

Leila's comment about August in New England after it rains--Remember when you lived in Texas and it NEVER rained! So weeds are a good thing I guess for two reasons--proof of rain and a good way to get rid of aggression and frustration. I can't imagine staying home while my husband was away for so long. I get cranky now when he is gone and I've got no one to care for! You are amazing!

Briana Jeffers said...

Hugs girl!

Prairie Rose said...

Weeding always makes me angry.
I always take my aggression out on the weeds.
I agree with the others...you are my hero:)

Becca@Water Damage Melbourne said...

You're awesome! Just enjoy every minute with your kids and having a past time like cross stitching will help.