Thursday, November 14, 2013

thinks & thoughts

This is the time of year when my thoughts are at max capacity. So much to accomplish before all these capitalized calendar dates coming up.  The big ones.  Nevermind all the gifts to make or purchase or the menus to plan but all my personal goals and projects that I never even wanted to see the gray days of winter. 

But they are getting done and that is a good thing! Our kitchen looks prettier by the day and my stack of furniture to redo is getting smaller.

My thoughts of late are happier and more optimistic than they have been in a while.  For those of you that know about all my stuff, it’s all good.  I feel good, and by that I mean I am having some great days (not just good) and am learning how to handle the bad ones.  I don’t feel limited, just sometimes have to go about stuff a little different.  To say this has taken some getting used to is an understatement and I am sure I have plenty of bad days ahead of me.  But it feels good to be more positive and less afraid.  I exercise everyday almost just like I used to.

MS is a strange disease.  On the outside you may look just fine but on the inside you might have a bunch of things going on.  Some days I can wake up and feel like I can run for miles and other days my legs are like jelly and I can’t feel my feet.  The good thing is that for the most part symptoms come and go.  If you can deal with it you know better days are around the corner.  My issues seem to be mostly in my neck/spine and memory and speech.  If I have a lot going on it gets hard to find all my words. For most people exhaustion is a big part of this as well.  I have learning what it is like having a “disease”.  Some of my friends and family that know I think maybe feel a little fidgety about it.  Trust me I am still me, I love to have fun…to laugh…to hug! I don’t like that feeling that I might make people uncomfortable.  That is a very hard part of this. 

The treatments for this have changed drastically.  I am comfortable with what path I have chosen.  I give myself a shot each day which sounds bad but in my mind it gives me satisfaction to know I am doing something to fight this.  The medication attacks the cells that are destroying the nerve sheaths that cause relapses and symptoms.  It basically builds up your immunity against this process.  My Dr is a lovely woman who looks like the mother from Happy Days.  This is completely why I chose her (a joke) but she knows her stuff and I feel like she took time to get to know me. 

Blah all I wrote is me me me.  I just don’t want anyone to think I’m doing poorly if I am quiet.  It is really the opposite.  It feels good to do stuff.  We are also building a new larger coop, it is almost complete.  Like most things we build it is quite crooked and uneven but I’m hoping the hens won’t notice.  They will be closer to our barn and it will be easier during the harsh NH winter to have  lights and a heated waterer to keep them happy. 

I will leave you with this picture of Henry who loves cats. This picture made me laugh this morning when I saw the cat’s face.  He loves Birdie so darn much but has no idea that she doesn’t enjoy his cuddles as much as he does.

829a

 

7 comments:

UJ said...

Great post, KD! I admire your strength and it helps all of us to understand. Thanks........

Maggie Main said...

That picture of Bubby is unbelievably adorable! Birdie looks so happy. I miss my darling angels. xxxo

Anonymous said...

Your positive energy is so inspirational and you are such a beautiful person! You write so elegantly about things that might be seem tough to talk about. I admire you so much, I hope I can be half the woman you are!

Andi said...

Glad you are doing well. Glad you are at peace with your decisions. That is the most important part. Great picture.

Dawn Castor said...

Cats and their expressions! Cute!

Leila said...

I love your spirit! It's always peaceful here, even when I know that you are struggling with an illness.
May you have a blessed season of preparation!

Emily said...

I love that picture of the your boy and the cat! Kate, I had no idea you had MS. I am glad you are doing well and seem to be in good spirits. My aunt has MS and seems to be doing ok. I am trying to keep my blog going, but it is hard with school. I should do my student teaching a year from now. Take care friend.