Friday, October 21, 2011

just me leaning on you

It’s autumn and I love pumpkins and the changing leaves and um… I’m pregnant. 

I envisioned myself writing this post in a couple months in a fun and surprising way.  But as I have started my second trimester it has been a tumultuous ride.  I’m not a good pregnant person. It sounds silly as I have five children but writing about it now seems to feel right and maybe that worried mind of mine would selfishly be a little comforted by hearing what you have to say.

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Being a mother has always dominated my thoughts, even from my doll playing days.  I love being a mother and from the moment my first child was placed in my arms I knew I wanted more kids, lots of them.   Luckily my husband thinks the same way. 

Like many journeys in life, pregnancy and childbirth have never been storybook for us, if there is such a thing. Over the years we have had our share of sad moments and fear and I suppose even a little anger.

And now I find myself full of fear again. I made it through the first part and felt like I won a marathon…and now this morning an unexpected call from the OB and my worrying  is back into full swing.  When I was younger I felt such resolve and determination, I wish I had that back.   It seems so wasteful to worry when God has been so good to us. 

The last few months were up and down, my poor family in Connecticut must think the worst of me.  This post is their announcement (Guess who’s expecting again!)… I’m not so good at the personal stuff, and I think I may have hurt some feelings and been hiding too long.  Not that my whole family reads my blog but really it only takes one person in my family to read this and news spreads like wildfire.

As I write this my youngest daughter is in bed and singing to herself. It comforts me and makes me feel things will be just fine.  That is a pretty similar emotion I get from you.  You comfort me, from wherever you are.  You never make me feel shy or self conscious- things I struggle with nearly everyday. 

So if you are giving free hugs or want to tell me I’m a hormonal lunatic, it’s okay.  I love your comments.

 

 

20 comments:

Dog Trot Farm said...

Congratulations, children are such a blessing and being a mother is a most wonderful gift. I wish you and your family well. Sending blessings, Julie.

Nicole said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nicole said...

Oh K!! Congratulations!! When you feel up to it, I would love to get together with you all! Ken and I talked about dinner, but weekends have been crazy lately, and I'm sure most of yours are too. I miss you guys though and have such good memories of you both! So happy for you - that's a lucky little boy/girl in there :)

UJ said...

Congrats to your whole family!! New house, new life, new addition.......what better time! You and Ken have proved to be the best of parents and will continue on with your new delight. We couldn't be happier for you. Love ya, UJ&AJ

Jemm said...

AAAAAAAAAA! This is so great! If I was rich I'd be on the first plane out there to give you a hug and tell you it's gonna be OK. Oh, this is such great news. I am so happy for you guys. How you tell your family is up to you guys, they'll just have to be OK with it. So, so happy for you!

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I feel like Jemm...wish I could be there to give you a big HUG! I'm so happy for you! You are SUCH a great mom, my friend! And babies are such a blessing for the whole family! What a happy time! Are we going to see photos of you now? Take care of yourself, my friend and enjoy this special time! ♥♥♥

youwannawhat said...

I have 5 kids ages 26-2yrs of age...it wasn't always an easy road of pregnacy for me either. Babies are a gift, to be lucky enough and blessed to have another is wonderful news! Congrats!

Briana said...

Congrats! What a wonderful surprise. I'm sure you will be sharing many sweet things which will make many of us wish we were also expecting. Rest, cry, eat, and be happy!

Leslie said...

oh my gosh.. Congratulations!!!!! What a blessing!

Nezzy said...

Woohoo!!! Congratulations sweetie, another little love blessin'!

I do wish you could feel the hug I'm sendin' ya.

God bless and have an amazin' week!!! :o)

Kathy in Vietnam said...

Congrats KD, so happy for you

Andi said...

Holy cow...

That's all I can say.

Holy. Cow.

Congratulations!

Oh, and I'm secretly jealous that you have a whole passel of kids and I've only got two!

OH, and here's you're hug! {hug}

Short Poems said...

Congrats to your family...I wish yo and your family all the best!

Take care
Marinela

Juniper said...

OH!!!!!!!! What news!!!!! Am very happy for you!! When are you due?! How has the pegnancy been so far? It makes me so happy to know that you are expecing too (I don'thave any friends this time round who are pregnant-apart from you) Everyone thinks we are nuts for having four. Lots of looks as I walk down the street with the kids. YOu made my day my dear, hope you are well and look forward to hearing more! Am a pretty nutty pregnant woman myself!

Barbara at Oodles and Oodles said...

This IS exciting!

Dawn said...

Congratulations! And hugs! I'm sure you are a hormonal lunatic! Thank heavens in whatever state of fertility women are in, we can blame our hormones for everything!

Jennifer Bontrager said...

Congratulations! Babies are such a blessing.

lisawith4 said...

Well, being a hormonal lunatic is ok and justified!
Congratulations on the newest blessing in your life!
It's been so long since I've visited your blog and then I come back and read this great news. Glad I came over to "visit".

Leila said...

{{{HUG~!!!!}}}

Yay!

Wonderful news!

Nothing is the way you think it's going to be, right? Like, being engaged stinks, am I right?

Everything will be fine. Doctors like to drum up business :) Rest, enjoy, dream...

It's all good!

A BABY!!! What joy.

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