It’s autumn and I love pumpkins and the changing leaves and um… I’m pregnant.
I envisioned myself writing this post in a couple months in a fun and surprising way. But as I have started my second trimester it has been a tumultuous ride. I’m not a good pregnant person. It sounds silly as I have five children but writing about it now seems to feel right and maybe that worried mind of mine would selfishly be a little comforted by hearing what you have to say.
Being a mother has always dominated my thoughts, even from my doll playing days. I love being a mother and from the moment my first child was placed in my arms I knew I wanted more kids, lots of them. Luckily my husband thinks the same way.
Like many journeys in life, pregnancy and childbirth have never been storybook for us, if there is such a thing. Over the years we have had our share of sad moments and fear and I suppose even a little anger.
And now I find myself full of fear again. I made it through the first part and felt like I won a marathon…and now this morning an unexpected call from the OB and my worrying is back into full swing. When I was younger I felt such resolve and determination, I wish I had that back. It seems so wasteful to worry when God has been so good to us.
The last few months were up and down, my poor family in Connecticut must think the worst of me. This post is their announcement (Guess who’s expecting again!)… I’m not so good at the personal stuff, and I think I may have hurt some feelings and been hiding too long. Not that my whole family reads my blog but really it only takes one person in my family to read this and news spreads like wildfire.
As I write this my youngest daughter is in bed and singing to herself. It comforts me and makes me feel things will be just fine. That is a pretty similar emotion I get from you. You comfort me, from wherever you are. You never make me feel shy or self conscious- things I struggle with nearly everyday.
So if you are giving free hugs or want to tell me I’m a hormonal lunatic, it’s okay. I love your comments.