now ladies, don’t be jealous

July at our little ranch is when the fruit trees are heavy with fruit, it’s when the wild plums are abundant way out back. The sun is hot, the horse is out to pasture, the kids are riding bikes and asking for popsicles. Sunny and carefree. Right?

Carefree, unless you have an aversion to spiders. Recently my sweet friend at LMLD remarked that I sound giddy…maybe from the heat and spiders.

These are two different spiders waiting to greet me as I picked wild plums this morning. I don’t know what kind they are, but if you feel the need to say swear words—it’s okay. I wish you could see how big they are because they are ginormous. My husband did a little girl skippy dance but was able to remain macho at the same time, which was unlike me who did a similar skippy dance accompanied by some words with *#$*^* attached to them while I ran 100 yards away.

I think it is only appropriate to keep sharing. Recently as I was sitting with my son out on the patio I saw something kind of fluffing in the grass nearby. It was this:

Did I enlarge that enough for you? We have seen many (too) of these this season. I admit the first one I saw I ran over with my car because I was too scared to do anything else. They creep me out but I tell myself they are God’s creatures and they are outside and not harming anyone. That is what I’m supposed to think, right? Isn’t that brave?

I left this one alone only to go out an hour later and find this:

They were fighting or mating, standing up on two legs. Let me tell you how awesome it was to see this right where I walk from my car each day. Oh boy, it was sooooo cool! I can’t step on them for two reasons….one being they are too big to fit under my shoe and the other being I would faint away. So I left them alone which seemed like the right thing to do. But the next day after killing a recluse in the house—in my bedroom mind you—my spider anxiety took a turn for the worse. That night I couldn’t even put my feet all the way down in the bed for fear of spiders. Everytime I feel a hair on my arm I shriek. I feel like a crazy lady. We have sprayed for spiders twice, in the Spring and Summer.

Do you want me to stop talking about spiders? Am I right? Are you jealous?

How about snakes? Can I talk about them?

Okay, I won’t. But that’s my husband, isn’t he so manly to hold that snake like that? He’s my hero. You can be jealous of him. He is a hunky, chunky, hunk-o-love.

* this is really just a test to see how often he reads my blog

chicken coop

As you can see I’m not much of a carpenter. But this is our chicken coop. In the past at other homes we have lost hens due to raccoons, foxes and snakes (the snake was here in TX). I was very concerned about keeping them safe and in the end I think this coop is the sturdiest building on our property. If there ever is a tornado those hens will be just fine while my household belongings will be blown up to Oklahoma. I sifted through a lot of pics on the computer when we were building one and thought if anyone (with no carpentry skills like me) googles CHICKEN COOP—maybe this will help.

The sides are hinged for easy egg gathering on one side and coop cleaning on the other. The wheelbarrow fits right under the drop side and makes cleaning the coop very easy.

The other two sides have hinged windows lined with chicken wire that stay open pretty much all summer. We elevated the building to provide additional shade and so my imagination wouldn’t envision a snake-all-expenses-paid-resort-hotel under it.

We feed them a tray full of laying crumble in the morning and a small pail of scratch feed in the afternoon. Four times a week I give them organic greens --as much as they can eat in 10 minutes- usually a couple handfuls. Also they love any scraps of bread and vegetables, especially tomatoes.

Being a military family we move often, it might seem strange to invest in a coop or even have animals. It just makes sense to us to “live” in each place we move to. Having chickens is part of that.

So is seeing a warted toad in the yard.

And catching your first catfish in the pond.

The turkeys have been visiting us nearly everyday. I think because someone made a deal with them that we wouldn’t eat them. This was a vocal contract which was made by a six year old with good yelling skills.

Shall I close this post with a funny but not so funny chicken story?

Remember when my son had his toenail removed? (I can’t find this post)

A couple days later he was sitting in the porch letting his foot air out and on a whim decided to check for eggs…in flip flops... and a chicken pecked his toe really bad. It was terrible. I had to take him back to the DR and was extremely embarrassed. When he asked my son what happened he told him a chicken pecked it and all my nervous energy came out in hysterics. Of course I was the only one laughing. Can you say mother of the year?

me being chatty in list form

1. Today was the most fair weather day we have had in a while. Lots of ducks came to our pond in the back. They are wild and will fly away at the smallest amount of fear. I think they are beautiful and wish they would tolerate me sitting down there watching them. See all that green bushy stuff in the tree? It's mistletoe...maybe you already knew that. We have a bunch of it, it's handy if you feel kissing outside. I didn't know mistletoe grew like that.

2. I sat and watched the ducks with Red who looks rather woolly with his winter coat. In a few weeks I will be able to brush that thick coat right off him. The ducks eventually flew away, they look so small in the sky.

4. The rest of the numbers don't have to do with ducks.

5. Do you want to meet my sister? She just started blogging. She is very nice. When I was young she would take me to fabric stores and let me buy a fat quarter. And once (I never told her or my other sister this) I took their two gunny sax shirts in the attic and cut off all the buttons b/c they were ivory and swirly. I still have those buttons.

6. I am sure my sister's blog will be inspiring to you as she is to me as a person. She sews a lot and has a great Etsy shop. Maybe you should visit her blog? Tell her I said hi.

7. One time she jumped off the top of a swing set and bees went up her nose.

8. I love her.

a snack picnic

Today the blue sky invited us on a picnic. It was that time in the afternoon when a cup of tea tastes best, after the afternoon nap but enough before dinner that having a cookie seems okay.

It was a special little picnic and we were all honored to be invited. Of course I don't want you to feel left out and not to say you are lazy and can't cut your own apples and cheese but perhaps you would like to sit with us under the sunny sky. Just be nice and don't say anything mean (I had to add that in in case any of my brothers are reading this). And for goodness sakes if you are wearing a skirt please sit like a lady (again-- added for my brothers).

Here are the guests:

Fancy Pants and Kennifer...who has a drinking problem and slept through the afternoon. (Not alcohol, just those disappearing milk bottles)

The Wee Boy and his cat.

This is Rosebud. She brought all her friends. But they all look the same so ironically they are all named Rosebud.

Peter, he is old and acts like a dog.

Red...he is my friend. He ate some apple pieces and some hay. Then he walked away and passed gas. That's how he acts. We still love him.

Thank you blue sky for inviting us. You are welcome at my home anytime. Come back tomorrow and bring your friend the sun...he is HOT!

slightly vulgar

I like records. Eclectic records that perhaps no one has wanted since 1955. I found these recently. I chose them because of their covers...just don't tell the librarian from elementary school.

What is he taking a picture of?

Onto another subject:

We have stick bugs everywhere.

They are often doing kind of gross things with ill abandon. This would be all well and good if they'd camouflage themselves in the pecan tree.

That was the slightly vulgar part.

Fall color week, burnt sienna

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Fall color week, Crayola style

Elsie Marley had the great idea of using Crayola inspired colors as an inspiration for Fall.

Check out her blog for other participants--or just to browse as she has some real inspiring ideas.

Today is my very favorite Crayola crayon color: Brick Red

What is your favorite childhood crayon color?

morning on the farm

School is about to start and my quiet mornings will soon turn into noisy ones. I like waking up before the sun and start the chores as the first rays of daylight sneak into the morning. Am I ready for the kids to be under foot? I suppose I don't have a choice. We'll hop-a-long as we always do.

The good and the bad

I'll start with the bad...my mother flies out today. She has been here a month. I think we drove her crazy.

The good...we leave for vacation next week and will see her there--so there is still plenty of time for more crazy antics.

The bad...we have a long drive to bring her to the airport today.

The good...While we are there we will pick up my father in law and brother in law. They will be taking care of our little ranch of sorts while we go on vacation. (The "of sorts" refers to a grumpy mini horse and a small flock of hens) Isn't that a very nice thing to do?

There is more good... Pops ordered these little peepers that arrived yesterday. He is a farm boy in every sense but now living in a condo in FL. I love that he will be here tinkering around and has 30 little chirpy friends to nurture.

Aren't they cute?

Can you guess what they are?

They are super tiny, but not bantams. In fact they aren't even chickens.

They're pheasants. Chirp chirp.

So really, as you can see it's really all good. The only bad around here is that I'm still in my pj's and didn't I say I have to drive to the airport???

*not true to scale

There was a big storm here last night. This made me edgy and fake smiley with the kids, it's our first tornado season in tornado alley. With no basement I can admit it makes me a little nervous. We weathered the storm playing a dozen games of Mad Libs and laughing at our adjectives and nouns that got rather vulgar. The storm passed and we were okay! I shall reenact what happened next, please note these are actors portraying the chain of events and certain items are not true to scale.

Most everyone was off to bed.

I tucked in the little ones.

I stepped outside to look for damage-- I saw a snake in the screen porch. I can't say I like snakes. They are creepy and look slimy and this one looked as if it would bite. I wasn't feeling very brave.

Sam and I used garden tools and a broom hoping to shoo it out. It wouldn't leave. I was feeling even less brave than before. Why do we look so happy?

Even though I love animals and gently let bugs out of the house to fly for freedom...I tried to shoot this snake. I used a BB gun which in reality is silly. I'm confident I could have used a rifle but didn't want to blast a hole in the wall of the house and have to live that down forever. But I did think about it many times. Notice Nana peering out of the door. We were all scared, she was going from window to window with a gallon of paint asking me to drop it on the snake. She has always been resourceful.

I finally called my helpful neighbor to save the day. And he did, catching the snake and taking it to the back of his property to slither away for freedom. Nana, Sam and I hugged and cheered.

Then we all went back in the house. You know all that talk about facing your fears? I think I am more afraid of snakes now. Every time I see a stick in the grass I jump with fear. Snakes are creepy!