Friday, September 24, 2010

blog discomfort

A few days ago I was alerted to a blog that was eerily similar to mine.  It bothered me a great deal…like the kind of great deal that involves tears and ends with a discouraged me saying no more.  I logged on in the morning with the intent to say is it worth it? and blah blah blah.  I’ve been acquainted with bloggers who become discouraged because of this.  It makes me sad to see their once personal and colorful blog become dull and distant.  I don’t want that to happen to mine. Instead I found myself writing about my past and posting it.

And then I woke up this morning saw a comment on my nostalgic childhood post from Lindsey in AL.   It says:

“Loved this! Was part of it posted somewhere else a few years ago? I could swear I've read the third paragraph before, seems like it was maybe a link from another blog or a guest post somewhere. Maybe it was even on an email list. Hmmm. Weird. This is not much like my childhood, but also totally like it.”

Perhaps I’m a little sensitive after what happened earlier this week but it is definitely strange to be at the other side of the copying accusation.  So first please let me say,

I would never use someone else’s words as my own.

Lindsey I know you have visited my blog on other occasions (I remember leaving you a comment about fat quarters vs remnants) and I have enjoyed yours several times, but please know even to hint that I would plagiarize someone upsets me very much.   Never would I even consider taking credit for someone else’s thoughtful and creative process.

Paragraph three (and all the others) in that post came straight from my own thoughts and memories of my childhood. I wrote it that afternoon in the quiet of my house while my son slept.

Nothing in that post is stolen or even fictitious for that matter…

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me and most of my siblings with my grandparents.

Carl, look you are holding me…I dare you to try that now.

Many of my siblings read these words. 

As does my mother and aunt and uncle.

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The views from our home in Connecticut.

Those growing up years were far from perfect but my brother and the land made them happier.

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My brother Mike and my parents a few years ago. 

This is the only picture I have after 1975 with both my parents in it.

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Mike’s duck Doris doing some plowing.  We brought her in the house when it was too cold. Because my mother is nice like that (unless she was in a fowl mood).

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My sister Kathy and I love the ocean.  We are goofing on my brother’s motorbike the night before I moved away with my brand new husband.  When we left she chased our car down the road, it made me cry—the emotion not the acid wash shorts.

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 Joe at home at the airport.

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This is Joe all cleaned up.  He owned Pilgrim Airlines (someone emailed me this question).  They flew to the islands along the east coast from Groton/ New London.  I loved Joe, he’s gone now. He was good hearted even though he always called my husband an *&%hole…even sometimes during dinner.   Would you believe me if I said he meant well? Because really I think he did.

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My brother holding a  bunch of nieces and nephews.  As a child he always said he didn’t want kids so we thought it was funny to pile our kids on him.

Each day of my life I am driven by my faith and my family.  It’s His gift to me to be a mother and everyday I pray for strength to raise my children into honest, caring adults that make a difference.

Writing on my blog helps me to find myself within a sea of others.  It’s a beautiful thing to share inspiration and lean on each other even though most of us haven’t met.  It makes a positive difference in my life.

I hope you don’t think of my reaction to your words as harsh.

As U2 sings,

“One Love, One Life…”

And I guess that’s pretty much how I feel.

13 comments:

Andi said...

I can't believe that comment was left. I think that we have to be careful in this blogosphere world, since there is no face to face contact to gage reactions, or understand where someone is coming from. I loved that post, and I love this walk down memory lane too.

Jeannine said...

Ditto what Andi said. Don't get frustrated. Remember who you are blogging for, and concentrate on that alone. I was once told that my blog was not a reflection of who I am by a friend. My reply "Yes, it is. I write what I think and if you don't know that person, then you don't know me." Do it for yourself, and your family. Then when you consider all the good that comes with it, you will see that blogging has some great moments.

barbara said...

First of all I feel bad because I was trying to leave a comment on your post about your family the other night to let you know how much I liked it, and my computer kept freezing up. Second, I'm afraid I don't remember things I've written on my own blog, let alone think I can remember a single paragraph from several years ago. Your writing style is so individual and your observations so personal that I don't know why anyone would think you "borrowed" a few words. I hate when weird blog stuff happens because it's otherwise such a joy. <3 <3 <3 to you.

Briana said...

O.k. that is one of my favorite U2 songs. I was a huge fan in high school.

I can understand your feelings on being copied and accused of copying. I have never thought of that happening. Hey, it must mean you have a good thing going here! What is that saying ________(can't think of the word) is the best form of flattery. Not that that makes it right or makes it hurt less!

I love your blog and you always find a way to make me laugh in each post(fowl mood). Please don't change!

Oh, and your parenting advice the other day was right on. Sometimes I feel like I had more parenting wisdom when I only had a few children. Now I'm getting old and lazy so I need reminders of how I used to parent!

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

Another beautiful post! I love that you've included photos to help everyone come alive to us. I'm sorry some have bothered you with their pettiness...or whatever it is! It's not easy to open up on a blog and share your lives with others. But you are a wonderful writer and I know you will be glad you've written down your thoughts. You should print them out and keep a folder. When you are older...like me...you'll be glad you did! I'm sending you LOTS of hugs! Thank you for being authentic! ♥♥♥

Prairie Rose said...

I am sorry to read of your recent blog discomfort.
I have just recently stumbled across your blog, but since then have enjoyed your lovely,unique posts and sense of humor and general over all, beautiful writing.
You always manage to brighten the day and bring a smile to my face.
Kate, we dont want you to go anywhere:)
Also,I am loving the pics of the Fam and the Farm!

Lindsey in AL said...

I Just wanted to let you know that I emailed you privately about this, in case my message gets eaten by your spam filter. Blessings!

Dawn said...

Love your reminiscences again today! I think we all have 'the same story' in a way. We read blogs we like because we see reflections of ourselves.

Jemm said...

Oh, my. How disconcerting. I hope this works itself out and you remain the same ole Freckled Hen. XoXo

I am thinking of doing a post about my childhood too. Well, mainly just about me and what geeky kid I was. I LOVE getting to know you this way. Wish I had some old photos to use too. My parents were not picture takers.

GardenofDaisies said...

HI sweetie, I went to look at what got said by the other blogger, and it truly sounds like she was only asking if you yourself had posted about this same subject elsewhere on your blog. That perhaps she recalled something you had said in the past and that it rang a bell for her. I don't think she meant it as a hint that you were copying someone else.
Please don't be discouraged. I don't think she intended to cause you hurt. I don't know her, but it didn't seem mean spirited to me at all.
But I can sure understand your frustration and sensitivity on this subject after the experience earlier in the week of finding that someone was sorta copying your blog.
Anyway, hope you and L get everything sorted out, because looking at your blogs, you both seem like really sweet people.
Hugs to you.

It's Just Dottie said...

I do not know for sure what has happened but, I sure do like you. Sometime people are just mean spirited . I really enjoy your blog. I look so forward to seeing what you are doing and what you are doing is wonderful.
Dottie

Paula said...

After reading this post I went and reread the other post (which made me tearful both times because it is beautifully written) and all I can say is... "Bless her little heart."

PLEASE keep up the amazing posts. I am a regular reader. You entertain, inspire, and if you give this up, I would miss looking at your little people.LOL

LB's Sewing Sanity said...

Being your sister, your blog post was true to the heart. I would have been hurt too, by someone else's accusation/comment. However, I also agree with Garden of Daisies, and want to believe in my heart it wasn't meant to hurt you.

You have shared so much of yourself that makes the rest of us feel human. For that, we thank you. Please think of the 100's of comments your blogger friends have shared with you and you with them. That means something. Big Hugs to You!